I Was Looking for Purpose, But Then I Realized I Was Purpose!

For most of my life, I quietly believed I wasn’t qualified to lead #women.

1) I wasn’t a “success story”

2) I didn’t have global exposure and wasn’t a “japa” candidate, and I knew many Africans valued international experience.

On top of that,

3) I didn’t even like women.

I had trauma buried deep inside, caused by women throughout my life—from the time I was in my mother’s womb, and including my mother herself.

Women gave me trouble, and I didn’t trust them.

So the very thought of working with women, helping them, even advocating for them—it felt like a far cry from something I could ever want to do.

And yet, God had other plans.

Recently, I felt a heavy conviction to forgive the very women who had hurt me.

Through tears, I released each name, and that’s when I finally agreed to pick up my pen and begin this work.

In 2016, I wrote a book, Facade, but I stopped promoting it- even though it got a 5-star rating on Amazon.

Imposter syndrome told me women weren’t ready for my message.

At the time, I was also facing divorce.

4) I saw my marriage ending as a failure, which only deepened my sense of unworthiness.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized how much strength it took to stay committed to one man for 19 years, despite everything.

Now, I see that period not as a failure, but as a testament to my endurance and loyalty. It is something to be proud of, not ashamed of.

5) I was also keenly aware of the patterns in my #family—cycles of curses, limitations, and setbacks. I could see the invisible chains, and I knew, deep down, that I was called to break them.

I had been referred to as the “light” in my family.

I thought that meant wealth or #success.

But I realized-I am the yoke-breaker.

The one meant to break the generational chains that have held us down.

And that is exactly what I have been doing since I turned 40—fighting those battles and winning.

6) I thought to myself, Shouldn’t I have a #PhD first?

It just seemed logical to me. “Dr. Lavonne, #CEO of XYZ” had a nice ring to it, didn’t it?

Then- my mother died!

As I stood at her graveside watching her body lowered into the ground, something gave!

I left her grave a different #woman.

I told myself that no matter what labels I lacked—whether I was a Nigerian resident without a PhD, no longer married, or rich in worldly terms—I would obey the call God placed on my life.

That decision changed everything.

The things I once saw as weaknesses were actually my strengths.

My past gave me the resilience and understanding I needed to lead.

ChayilWomanAfrica isn’t just about women—it’s about families.

It’s about breaking generational curses, empowering women to rise beyond their limitations, and restoring wholeness.

I now know that this was always my purpose.

It was inside me, waiting for me to say yes.

And now that I have, the journey has been nothing short of glorious.

#grateful